


Deceit’s Illusions

by Pachipikachu



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, he got a lotta pet snakes, i guess??, my headcanons for deceit, remy and thomas are only mentioned like once, sorry about that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-24 19:18:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19730140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pachipikachu/pseuds/Pachipikachu
Summary: Deceit doesn’t do his work on his own, that would be much too difficult. He needs help to formulate those intricate and complex lies that involve more than one person. And that’s why he has his illusions to help out.





	Deceit’s Illusions

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a oneshot to show off my headcanons for my favorite snek boi  
> i might write more oneshots for this  
> maybe
> 
> also another hc for deceit is that he doesn’t always speak in lies, just very sarcastic and sassy  
> so his “italicized” dialogue in this isn’t him lying.
> 
> warning: snakes
> 
> my first time writing sanders sides fics- criticism is welcome!

“Mm..no, that wouldn’t work...” He mumbled underneath his breath, almost glaring at the scene laid out in front of him. A ‘friend’ looked at him, awaiting his response, waiting for the lie to escape the other’s lips. Said friend had a glassy look in their eye, the irises and pupils clouded over with a milky white sheen, unblinking. He cleared up his throat and tried again, fixing a mildly distressed and worried look onto his face.

“I didn’t have time last night!” The snake-faced side exclaimed, mimicking his host’s voice exactly, hints of false guilt seeping into his tone. “My.. _mom_ called me to... _help_ _her_...” Hesitation plagued his thought process, pausing any plausible fill-ins for the empty blank left in his sentence. He stopped, huffing in slight frustration. With an aggravated sigh, he glared at the ground, trying to think of an adequate lie to tell. After a moment or two of thinking, he gave up.

“This won’t do, I can _not_ think like this!” He growled, shutting both his bright golden and dark brown eye close, the bags underneath his eyes, heavy with sleep deprivation. Licking his chapped lips, a faint taste of blood on his tongue, he tangled his gloved fingers in the messy locks of chocolate brown hair that rest upon his head, his bowler hat tossed to the side in a bout of annoyance a few moments prior. Inhaling deeply, realizing he let his temper get to him, he massaged the bridge of his nose as he paced away from the illusion of one of his host’s friends. With a lazy shooing motion of the hand toward the illusion, Deceit bent down and picked up his fallen bowler hat. As his back was turned, the friend became like a formless lump, illusion whisked away, leaving behind a decently sized, silver snake. The scene melted away, down the walls, leaving behind Deceit’s actual room instead of Thomas’ friend’s apartment.

“I’m sorry, Darling, I’m having some troubles as you can see.” Deceit murmured apologetically to the snake, looking off to the side to glance at the gleaming creature that idly lay behind him. The snake, Darling, hissed in return, her forked tongue flickering. Not a hiss of aggression, no. It was one of understanding. The shiny, slightly translucent snake slithered forward, slowly sliding towards the side of self-preservation. Deceit let out a low, fond chuckle, crouching down to look at his pet with a dear smile. Flapping his cape out of the way, he reached out and started to rub the top of Darling’s head, said snake giving a pleased blep in return. With a smile, Deceit stood up with a groan.

“Darling, go back to the others, I’ll try this again later.” Deceit said gently with a sultry voice, smooth and enchanting, almost cooing at his beloved friend. The silver snake obeyed, turning away and heading to the small exit specially made for the snakes. “You did great, my illusion~” He purred as the snake slithered behind his closet, shadow covering all her 5 foot length, where she disappeared back to the Imagination, returning to the other sliver illusions that had manifested during the years. Deceit watched her leave, making sure she did get back to her habitat properly, not like last time when one of the illusions ended up in _dear_ , Prince Roman’s castle by accident. That was a whole mess on its own that was immensely annoying to fix, especially the constant reassurance of ‘No, I’m not spying on you with my pet snakes, _please_ _give_ _Honey_ _back_ —‘.

With a yawn that unhinged his jaws, revealing the sharp fangs that poked out from behind his lips, Deceit removed his bright yellow, ‘dishwasher’ gloves, carelessly throwing them onto the ground. He snapped his human fingers, removing his villain attire for his casual wear. With the billowing cape and dramatic black suit away, Deceit picked out his favorite outfit to slip into. A black, oversized t-shirt with the words, ‘ **WARNING** , **DANGER** **NOODLE** ’ in a bold yellow font with a print of a rattlesnake underneath, some dull yellow, plaid pajama pants, and his favorite black beanie that he would wear on his outings with Remy when he wasn’t busy ‘plotting’. He absentmindedly rubbed the scaley side of his face with an incoherent mumble, hopping into his less-than-comfortable-but-still-tolerable bed, the pastel yellow, ‘kawaii’ snake printed sheets flaring out from the impact. Summoning his phone, he relaxed in his bed, scrolling through Instagram, looking through Sanders Sides fanart and horoscope memes. He sighed with content at the amazing art the fanders had produced. Nearly none of them had him in it, of course. Many actually featured Remus in there, who would’ve thought? Well, with his whole reveal to the others and all, it wasn’t much of a surprise to Deceit.

He hummed as he continued to scroll through the mindless posts, occasionally mumbling to himself, ‘That’s ssso me...’ at horoscope posts. This process of brain-numbing kept going as Deceit scrolled further into the depths of Instagram’s explore page for around half an hour before interrupted by a new message from our lovely, charismatic prince.

‘New Message From: That one idiot’

‘hey can you get your snake out of my castle thanks’

‘she keeps scaring all of the guards’

Deceit let out a small snort, huffing out through his nose instead of actually laughing. The eloquent prince, one who used as much flowery language possible, one who is as dramatic at all chances obtained, texts like a first grader who is just getting the hang of writing words in the order they think it. Hilarious. As he sat up in his bed, he sent a text back.

‘Now why would they be scared of someone so adorable?’

‘jfc just tAke her out pLeAse’

‘Well, since you said please,’

‘Don’t let anyone touch her or I swear I’m going to burn down your castle.’

‘o h m y g o d’

‘no one’s gonna touch her just get oVER HERE’

Deceit swung his legs off the bed, sitting at the edge as he arched his back to stretch. With a groan and a series of cracks and pops from his spine, he stood up and snapped his fingers, switched back into his ‘evil’ look. With a small huff, the snake-faced side sunk out of his room, popping up in the midst of discord running around the grand castle which ruled over the imagination. Sighing in annoyance, Deceit glanced around the entrance hall he found himself in, ignoring the many imagined servants and knights screaming and running in panic which, in Deceit’s opinion, is truly unnecessary. His illusions wouldn’t hurt a fly!

“Hey! Over here, J.Deceit!” The familiar voice of our creative side cuts through Deceit’s thoughts. With another violent exhale of the nose, Deceit calmly walked over to the source of the voice. Turning the corner into a hallway, he found himself staring at one of his beloved illusions, lazily laying in a sunspot underneath a grand window. Roman seemed to be pushed into the corner between the wall and a table holding a vase of flowers.

“Get- get her out now? Please?” Roman stuttered, almost cowering. Deceit let an amused chuckle rumble from his throat.

“Is this what I think it is? Courageous, strong, Prince Roman, cowering before a snake? One that is about to fall asleep, might I add?” Deceit teased in mock disbelief with a small grin snaking onto his face, placing a gloved hand on his hip.

“Oh, shut up! Just take her with you on the way out, you...you reptilian!” Roman shouted with exasperation. Deceit chuckled again, bowing with extreme exaggeration, taking off his bowler hat and holding his it to his chest.

“As you wish, your highness~” Deceit purred, pacing over to his sunbathing pet.

Kneeling down, Deceit gently stroked along the back of the glimmering silver scales, humming a bit as he did so.

“Hey, Sweetie, wake up..” He mumbled with a soft voice, careful to wake the illusion up without scaring her. “Come, my illusion, we’re going home.” He whispered, the snake finally lifting her head drowsily. He reached a hand out, inviting the silver-scaled friend to slither up his arm. The snake did so, making her way up to Deceit’s neck, resting on both of his shoulders with a satisfied hiss. Deceit let a small, genuine smile slip onto his face for a moment before standing up.

“Alright, _Prince_ Roman, I’ll be taking my leave!” Deceit called, turning around to face said prince. Roman stood up, brushing off his outfit with a huff.

“Keep your snakes in their cage! It gets really annoying, you know.” Roman said, annoyance clearly lacing his voice as he glared at the deceitful side. Said side sunk out, making sure to flip the prince off with both hands as he left.

He popped up in the middle of a jungle, green leaves and tall trees encompassing him in a prison of vegetation. On almost every branch on every tree, lay a silver snake, lengths varying depending on their age. Deceit sighed in relief, feeling at home in the middle of the jungle. He crouched down, stretching his hand out onto the ground, letting Sweetie slide off without much trouble.

“Off you go,” Deceit hummed before starting to scold the 3 foot long illusion. “Sweetie, you should know not to go to Roman’s castle. They don’t like snakes there, as you can see.” He muttered to the snake, concern glazing his voice.

“I don’t want you to get hurt anytime soon, just don’t visit them again, alright?” The small snake nodded, slithering off to lay on a branch like the others were. Deceit smiled at all of them before starting to sink out.

“Farewell, my illusions!” He bid a goodbye, popping up in his room once more. The darkness of the room was quite a stark contrast to the bright light of the imagination, but Deceit stopped caring about that long ago.

With a large yawn, he slipped off his gloves, doing the same routine as before. Now back in his casual clothes, he returned to numbing his brain with mundane staring of the phone.

Another day gone by, nothing new happening.

**Author's Note:**

> so my hc is that deceit has a bunch of pet snakes that are silver and that live in an area somewhere in the imagination where roman can’t find them. the snakes’ ‘species’ is illusions. they shapeshift into people so that deceit can plan out his lies and make sure to make up more lies to fill in missing holes from the made up stories. they can speak when it’s necessary for the scene they are playing out. when deceit first formed, he didn’t have any illusions bc he only told white lies that he could handle by himself. but then he got more illusions as thomas got older. deceit named them all of course. he has around 25-29 illusions so far.
> 
> kudos and comments are much appreciated!


End file.
